Title: The Wonderful Delights of the Secret Paella
Characters/Pairings: Spain, Romano (a slight chance on SpainxRomano)
Summary: Sequel to 'The Paella's Secret Recipe' (can be found in my profile journal entries in two parts or Fanfiction.net by the profile name of Cha0tic-Foxy.) Lovino and Antonio are off to a long drive to enter for the festival event in Calle del Buen Vecindario for participating the paella competition. The two nations will spend two weeks there. However, things will happen later on...
The lovely warmth from the sun basked all over the centre of Calle del Buen Vecindario. The streets were crowded with the townspeople who were making preparations for the upcoming festival event. Few of the visitors who arrived in early came from long hours within driving distance from main cities or either near or far foreign countries to not to miss any of the special openings.
Nobody else could contain their excitement for this greatest event occasion; not even Spain. Romano, on the other hand, scowled intensely as he looked at the speeding blurs of sight-viewing mountains, valleys, and few lovely villa towns as Spain was driving his Kia grand Carnival at a reasonable speed limit on the highway.
"How much longer does it take to get to whatever we are going, you bastard?" grunted Romano with displeasure. He had been sitting on the car seat for at least five long hours and could feel his whole body, including his ass, falling asleep and sore. He turned his head towards the backseat as he searched around for some grocery shopping that both he and Spain brought along for the entire journey if they ever felt hungry. Growling with hunger, he stretched out his arms for the plastic bag and brought it to his lap as he rummaged through the containments. So far, the snacks for the whole journey were childish ones such as Fonzies, Kinder Bueno, Kinder Penguí, Esta Thé, etc. Luckily, they did pack some great goods: bakery foods like fresh bread and pizza bianca, which were picked freshly from early morning before the departed for the journey; the white and succulent mozzarella, a couple of Cacciatori salamis, and prosciutto crudo where selectively chosen by Romano from a small butchery shop; and finally few juicy fruits like grapes, apples, and mandarins for a healthy diet.
Licking his lips, Romano carefully retrieved a wooden board from his side of his seat and set it to his lap. He then finally dug out the white pizza, mozzarella, salami and prosciutto crudo from the shopping bag and placed the whole thing together onto the board base. Trying not to fall out the items off the cutting board from the constant movement of the car, he opened the little front door facing in front of him, and took out a sharp looking kitchen knife, which dangerously looked like could be used as a murderous weapon. If Romano were to be dressed in a burgundy shirt tucked under a luxurious black suit and elegant shoes, not to mention brown shaded sunglasses and a black Homburg hat, he would have mistaken to be part of the mafia group if he were found carrying that knife around. Feeling satisfied, he went back to slicing up the salami into individual thin pieces.
For the past five minutes, Spain has been eyeing at Romano but maintained his glances lasted only for three seconds for not bringing attention from Romano; not to mention, making an accident. Unfortunately, Romano caught him red-handed after Spain did his sixth glance.
This seriously pissed him off big time.
"Che cazzo stai facendo?! Are you trying to cause an accident and injure us badly?! Don't take your eyes off the word, you bastard!" Romano glared alertly at Spain who was chuckling as a tense reliever to avoid any confrontations with the Italian. He grunted with annoyance when he mistook Spain's nervous smile for his usual goofy and amusing self. "What are you laughing at?" growled Romano.
"N-nada! It's really nothing Romano. But can't you offer your friend some food as well?" His face suddenly transformed into a pitiful puppy-like whiny expression. "I've been driving since we left my place at 10:30 am, and I only had some tea and few biscotti since you've been quite a heavy sleeper and I couldn't wake you up for the past 2 and a half hours because you are such a cute, dozing bebecito…" His sentence was cut off when a sudden sharp pain came from his upper arm. Spain gave out a loud yelp, turning his head as he looked at Romano, who was holding up his hand in preparation for his next hit. That would seriously a bad bruise in a few minutes.
"Don't you dare blame it on me, Spain! How the hell can I get up at 7:00 am in the morning?! It's too early!"
"But Romano. We could have made it to town by 2:00 pm. Think of all the traffic we could have been avoided. Now it's already 2:45 am, and we're still about two hours away. Seriously Romano, look at the time we could have saved if you haven't overslept!" Spain's smile turned into a disappointed frown, keeping his focus on driving.
"Well, guess what you, tomato-jerk? I'm going to have this delicious pizza sandwich filled with mozzarella, prosciutto AND salami and you won't have any!" Romano gave out a 'hmph" sound as he goes back at this sandwich he already finished preparing and began to sink his teeth in for his first bite.
"¡¿Como?! ¡ Vamanos Romano! You can't do this to me. I'M STARVING!" Spain began to plead madly through his whines as Romano continued to munch on his meal, ignoring the Spaniard's demands.
"Don't be so cruel. At least help me feed me those snacks. You don't want me to be dead while driving, do you?"
"Va bene! Cavolo. You seriously a pain in the butt, you know that?" Setting his sandwich aside, he took out the Fonzies snack bag and began to squeeze out the air from the lower bottom until he heard a 'pop' sound. As he unsealed off the top layer of the plastic bag to widen the opening, he shoved the snack right in front the side of Antonio's face.
"Here's your dumb snack," grunted Romano as he shook the item furiously.
"You have to feed me Romano. You know I'm driving right now."
"WHAT?! Fuck this! I'm not hand-feeding you. DO IT YOURSELF!" Romano's screaming could have made Spain's ears deaf in just a few seconds.
Spain knew that his friend was seriously stubborn in many situations. If anything that Spain has been taught and learnt through centuries living with the Italian, he should have to play along with him and play fire against fire.
Yes. Spain has his secret plan. An avoidable and unbeatable weapon made by the awesome boss. Something that Romano cannot refuse. That would drive him nuts to the ends of the world.
"Aaaaaaah~ Tengo haaaaambreeeee~ Loviiii no quiere conseguirme comiiidaaa. Estoy murieeendo de haaambreeee~" Spain emitted fake baby wailings as he continued his childish actions. Lovino was beginning to lose his patience as he slapped one of his ears with his free hand, trying to block the irritating sounds from his dumb boss.
"Alright! I'll feed you! SO STOP CRYING YOU IDIOT!" Feeling pleased, Spain shut his mouth in a flash as he grinned happily at Romano.
"Muchas gracias. I know you won't let me down."
Note to self: Spain is the Devil himself.
Sighing with defeat, he picked a few cheesy maiz sticks and groaned with disgust as he placed them into Spain's mouth. Antonio took his time ingesting before he licked around his lips for any leftover crumbles that might have stick to. When he finally finished 'cleaned' his mouth, he slightly leaned his body towards the side in Romano's direction while keeping his eye on the road.
"Oye Romano. Pio pio~" chirped Antonio happily as he left his mouth wide open hanging in the air.
Lovino wrinkled his forehead with shock look as he gawked at Spain as if he were a mentally retarded person. "What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. You?" He cannot actually express his individually dictated words into a whole, single sentence. He could, but his amazement on the Spaniard's stupidity never ceased to astound him, leaving him unable to process the situation he was in.
"I'm acting like a baby chick, como Gilbird lo hice. What do you, think? Do I sound like him?" He laughed at himself as he grinned warmly.
"Just shut up and eat these dumb snacks!" He quickly shoved a quite large amount of snack sticks into Spain's mouth, which disrupted Spain's laughter. As he cautiously chewed on the sticks to avoid any large shards that might have lodge into his esophagus, he swallowed the whole thing into his stomach before he let out a pleasing 'ah' from his replenished hunger.
This is good. The bastard is finely full and I can finally have the time all myself...
Fuck. Now what?
"Tengo sed. Could you take the ice tea from the cooler? You really don't need to help me drink it. I can do it myself."
"Fine but no more favours. Sei propio un rompe palle, lo sai?" He opened the cooler lid that was lying on the floor underneath him. All he could see were a bunch of small kiddy sized Esta Thé cups with straws, a pack of Kinder Penguí, and some other things that could be seriously consider food for any kid's age in kinder and primary school.
Romano raised his eyebrow as he picked one of the cups and stabbed the plastic straw through the hole. "Spain, why did you buy a kiddy size? You do realize they have these in bigger sizes?"
"I know but I thought it would be more convenient to buy in small sizes for easy travelling out in public, no?"
"Sigh. I guess you're right."
He passed the drink to Antonio; as soon he had the drink into his hand, Antonio already began to sip the cool peachy liquid into his mouth. Feeling the boredom crawling into him, Romano reached his hand for the radio knob to listen for any interesting news or songs when he realized a few tips of his fingers were already covered with those Fonzies sticks.
He tried to look around for a napkin to wipe them off but he found no luck with them. Oh well. He might as well lick them off.
As soon as he placed his finger into his mouth, he licked off the edges of his finger as he took his time savouring each taste of the crumbles. He exhaled with delight as the flavour of the cheese and maiz melted onto his taste buds. This situation reminded him that one commercial where a girl was in the library and was dumbfounded for finished her last Fonzies bag but realized she already had a few crumbles left in her one finger. But of course, there has to be some comedy; in result, her talking finger came to live and demanded her to lick him off the crumbles. Of course, feeling embarrass, the girls tried to shush him off until, overwhelming with desire, she quickly laid her finger into her mouth, sighing with relieve.
Yeah. That would have been weird if it ever happened to Romano. Of course, he would have guess that wouldn't have happen to him since it was the Spaniard who tasted the—
Hold on a minute....
If I've been feeding Antonio those stick snacks and I sucked off those crumbles, that means that I—
Romano stood there stiffly as he felt a horror feeling creeping through his skin.
"Fuck! That's disgusting!" said Romano hysterically as he banged his head against the glass window. Spain was alerted by the abrupt reaction from the Italian.
"Gah! Romano! What's wrong?! You're going to hurt yourself or even cause some trouble if you don't stop that!" shrieked Spain.
"SHUT UP SPAGNA! IT'S YOUR DUMB FAULT!"
"How is this MY fault?!"
"SHUT UP YOU CLUELESS BASTARD!"
Fucking Spaniard. He just gave me an indirect kiss! Fuck, you'll pay for this.
A/N: Hi everyone. I expect you did not expect a sequel to 'The Paella's Secret Recipe' when I said there won't be. ^^ Haha. Sorry about that. I don't know how long this story will go but don't expect it to finish it too soon. xD SO enjoy.
"Che cazzo stai facendo?!" = What the fuck/hell are you doing?!
"Va bene! Cavolo." = Alright! Damn/Fuck.
"Sei propio un rompe palle, lo sai?" = You are such a dick, you know that? (Rompe palle literally means 'breaking balls/testicles" but in this case, it means how annoying the person or the situation is, etc.)
""¡¿Como?! ¡ Vamanos Romano!" = What?! Come on Romano!
"Aaaaaaah~ Tengo haaaaambreeeee~ Loviiii no quiere conseguirme comiiidaaa. Estoy murieeendo de haaambreeee~"" = Aaaah~ I'm hungry~ Lovi doesn't want to get me
some food. I'm dying from hunger.
"Oye" = Hey.
"Pio pio" = "Chirp chirp." That's what the chick sounds like if you write it in Spanish.
"Tengo sed" = I'm thirsty.
Food Background Details
Pizza Bianca, prosciutto crudo, mozarella and Cacciatori salami = white pizza bread, raw salty ham and a special salami named 'Hunter's Salami'. Usually the main ingredients to make a sandwich using either any kind of bread or a white pizza, of course with some lettuce on. It's delicious. If you ever go to Italy, buy those things and make them yourselves (though I had one made by the guy working in the supermarket do it for me when I was like 7 years old. ^^ He, or was it my mom, tried to cheer me up cuz I had the mumps. Xc)
Fonzies = I guess, the European version of "Cheetohs"? It's actually delicious (to me). Mainly it tastes like corn and cheese. ^^ *licks lips*
Kinder Buendo/Penguin = I think everyone know Kinder Bueno but I'm not sure if you know about Kinder Penguin. Sigh. How can I describe it? I guess it's like "eskimo pie" or a "klondike bar" (never tried those, well except once for the eskimo pie) but the snack is not really an ice-cream. It's a cool chocolate bar with cream milk inside with a thin line of chocolate in the middle. Damn. I miss those having snacks back in kinder/primary school. x;
Esta The = One of the known ice tea brands, mostly in peach and lemon flavours. ^o^
Let me know if I miss any translations, food details or any grammar mistake. English is not my first language. D:
I hope I made everyone mouth-watering. xD
And yes. Such commercial (and many others) like that do exist. xD Search 'Fonzies pubblicità' in Youtube. I can translate what they were saying if you want to.